1 Always pack a
hat. In the winter, a knit hat will keep you warm and take up little room. In
the summer, a brimmed hat will keep the sun off your face. In either case, it
will save you when your straightening iron doesn’t work in the trapezoidal
electrical socket you found in your hotel room.
2. Packing for a trip is infinitely easier when
you’ve just done laundry.
3.Bring a travel
first aid kit with the following: ibuprofen (or other pain killer),
decongestant, NyQuil, bandages, hydrocortizone cream. You will not believe how
often it will come in handy.
4. Going somewhere with clean drinking water?
Pack a reusable water bottle that clips on to your bag. Bonus points if it’s
collapsible. In an age where the bottled stuff costs $7, you’ll save a ton,
too.
5 You will never
wear that second dressy outfit, so stop packing it. Most trips, you won’t even
wear the first dressy outfit (but you should still pack that one).
6 Bags with wheels are amazing. That backpack
might seem more agile, but have you ever seen someone trek across an airport
with one of those on their back? Nimble does not come to mind. Sciatica, yes.
But not nimble.
7 Don’t forget your
camera charger. You will go through that battery in a second, esp. when your
friends insist on flipping through all of the photos that you just took in
order to relive something that happened 5 minutes ago.
8 Don’t pack clothes that require ironing. Hell,
don’t buy clothes that require ironing.
9 If you are staying with someone, get them a
present. Either bring it from home, or take them out during the trip, or send
them something afterwards. Do it not only because you will likely be invited
back, but because your mom will be so proud.
10 Never pack something that you haven’t worn
before. Otherwise you’ll find your new shoes too uncomfortable, your new jacket
too flimsy, your new underwear too wedgie-prone.
11 Buy that
delightfully grotesque souvenir, even if you don’t know who to give it to. Odds
are, you will think of someone for whom it would be perfect. Worst-case
scenario, you’ll keep it for yourself. Which is a really great worst-case
scenario.
12 If you hate wearing something at home, you
will hate wearing it even more on a trip.
13 Pack those
god-awful tennis shoes you only wear “jogging” (a.k.a., “to the store to buy
ice cream”) At some point during your trip, you won’t care what you look like.
You will only care about being comfortable. For me, that point is “Day 2.”
14 Do not go into a McDonald’s. I don’t care if
you are scared and starving – McNuggets are NEVER a viable option. If you need
fast food, at least hit up a regional chain.
15 Always ask
museum staff for tips. They’ll tell you what the best exhibits are, and what
you can skip.
16 If you are at an
aquarium or a planetarium, feel free to skip the IMAX movie. They cost a
bundle, and are the same EVERYWHERE.
17 Tip your hotel
housekeeping staff. (A good rule is to leave them about $2 U.S./day.) While you
can leave it every day on the pillow, most staff is instructed not to move
money or personal items, so they might not pick it up. If this is the case,
just leave it in a prominent spot when you check out.
18 Never carry your wallet in your back pocket,
and never carry your purse on just your shoulder.
19 Take notes. As
much as you believe the contrary, once you get home you will not remember your
tour guide’s name, or the artist whose worked you loved so much, or even the
city where you stayed. Write it down.
20 If you have an inkling that you should be
taking photos of something, take them.
21 If you have an inkling that you should not
be taking photos of something, don’t take them.
22 The second you think of packing something,
PACK IT. If you wait, you will forget. And then you’ll end up using a plastic
bag as a shower cap. Subsequent attempts to seduce your husband will be
impossible after he’s seen you with a Rite-Aid sack on your head.
23 If you don’t
speak the local language of the place you are heading, then at least learn the
following phrases: Please. Thank you. I’m sorry. Do you have those shoes in a
size 37?
24 Wherever
you are, wherever you are going, bring
snacks.
25 Dry shampoo is a
godsend for those days when you don’t have time to wash your hair, but still
want to interact with other humans.
26 You will
inevitably forget something, either at home or while on your trip. Accept this
reality, and pray it is not your passport or your spouse.
27 Call your credit card company before you
leave and put a travel alert on your card. While you’re at it, jot down their
international customer service number.
28 Consider contacting the embassy and letting
them know the dates of your trip. Or at the very least, have their contact info
on hand.
29 Make photocopies of your passport and leave
one with friends and another tucked into your bag. Or, better yet, scan your
passport and email a copy to yourself.
30 Pack more
underwear than you could ever conceivably go through. They don’t take up much
room, and after a few days on the road, you will feel FRIGGING DECADENT when
you put on a fresh pair in the morning and again in the afternoon.
31 Stuffing socks
into your shoes can help you save space and ensure your loafers retain their
shape.
32 No one will
judge you for watching a dumb movie while on a plane. That’s what you’re
supposed to do on planes.
33 When packing, try to match all of the
pants/bottoms you are taking with all of the tops. This will prevent you from
looking like a total goober by the end of your trip.
Dryer sheets remove static from your hair and
clothing and make your suitcase smell awesome while taking up virtually no
room.
35 Do not, under ANY circumstances, use an
airplane lavatory while not wearing shoes. That is not okay. I don’t care how
swollen your feet are. Also, consider rolling up the hems of your pants while
you are in there, so they don’t brush the floor.
36 Toilet paper is not a given in many parts of
the world. Which is why those little packs of tissues they sell at drugstores
are a godsend.
37 It is far easier to get drunk and make an
ass of yourself at 30,000 feet than when you are on the ground.
38 Border control agents do not get sarcasm.
39 If you can’t
afford to lose it (either financially or emotionally), don’t pack it.
40 When in
Bulgaria, never get into a cab that doesn’t have a meter.
41 If you’ve
selected the window seat, you’d better have a big bladder.
42 If you are
starting a brand-new book on your flight, bring at least one other form of
entertainment with you, because that brand-new book might suck.
43 Suffer from
motion sickness? Ask for a drink that is half ginger ale and half club soda. It
will help alleviate nausea without putting you into diabetic shock.
44 Never check any
of the following: your toothbrush, your prescription medications, your
deodorant, your pjs.
45 Wear sunscreen anytime you will be outside,
regardless of the temperature or weather.
46 Regardless of
size, never bring more than two bags with you- any more than that is unwieldy
and difficult to keep track of.
47 Rolling non-wrinkable items before shoving
them into your suitcase really does save space.
48 A passport
protector is the most useless item anyone can buy, ever.
49 If you’ve forgotten something, check with
the hotel before running to a drugstore. Most housekeeping departments carry
toothbrushes, combs, sewing kits, shower caps, and disposable razors that they
will give you free of charge.
50 Budget hotels almost always offer free wi-fi.
Luxury hotels will charge you for it. This is almost always the case.
51 Sleeping in
while traveling is only acceptable if there is absolutely NOTHING better to do.
In other words, it’s never acceptable.
52 Never trust a
theater review from a London critic.
53 Don’t take
foreign guests to an Americanized version of their cuisine. I know I shouldn’t
generalize, but NO ITALIAN HAS EVER WANTED TO GO TO THE OLIVE GARDEN.
54 If a restaurants posts its menu in more than
three languages, the food is probably going to suck.
55 And, most
importantly: never, EVER leave any valuables in your vehicle. I don’t care if
it’s safely hidden in the trunk. I don’t care if you’re parked in the safest
part of town. Don’t do it. It’s not worth the risk.
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